Daddy and Arwen at Sunset today

So Edward got home today and I got the funnest photo of him lifting Arwen up I just love the daddy he is to our children I am so blessed

Welcome to Gym Magic

so i love this place the paintings on the wall are amazing. I just had to share them on this because they are so fun...

Arwen swims like a fish

so here we are Arwen in her swim classes. She loves it she has no fear at all. Here in the video she jumps in but, I just miss her going off the edge because I was a dork and could not get the camera on fast enough! All the little kids keep those bar bells under their arms while in the pool. It looks like great fun for the kids but man stressful for the teachers.Heck! I was just a parent watching and I was getting stressed out. They had three teacher in the room to. But, they did a great job with the kids and all the staff are well trained. Arwen gets swimming lessons two time a week as part of her pre- school classes. It is a very cool thing for the kids. enjoy the video!

A kick back sunday

ok so we have just kick back since Sunday. So this is about that we did on Sunday, With Edward being gone we went on an plan backyard picnic this Sunday at the Tonk"s how. it was a good time and we spent most of our time playing and feeding the kids finger food. Everyone had a great time and I got Sonya hooked into this blog sight. It has been way fun to keep in touch It was such a kick back moment we are a few days late but we have just been kicking back enjoying the summer LOL oh well.

My Forever baby and how he trys me!!!

So this is my James also known as Jamers, stinker , and you little squirt. so I have come to the forgone conclusion that in Heaven James and I were best friends. He must have came to me and said I want you to be my mom on the earth. Heavenly Father says that for my protection I am going to have to be special needs. What James failed to tell me was all the ways that he was going to try me while we are here. LOL here are just a few things that have happen today a lone and this is a light day with James.

6 am he wakes up and makes his own way to the kitchen and helps himself to cereal

6:15 am Mommy hears him finds the mess and sends him back to bed cleans up the mess " sets the motion detectors to keep him in his room

6:30 and - 7:30 he pulls all the sheets and blankets off his bed " He torn the blinds down last night so that was done already"

7:30 when his screaming at a loud pitch woke all the other kids up he came down and thinks he needs yet 2nd breakfast " He was a Hobbit in his last life"

9:30 he helps himself to the shower while we are all cleaning up the kitchen. " James can be very loud at moments and others you just won't hear him sneak away. this was one of the sneak away moment By the time we noticed he had dumped out almost a whole bottle of his shampoo after the shower while i am cleaning the soap up he heads to the kitchen for more food!

10:30 after we changed him back out of his Pj's twice " he loves Pj's"we went to a book reading at the Farmers market where he gave us the potty sign 20 time to get out of setting at the reading and also hovered over the water fountain any chance he could get. then we found out that their was warm air coming out the side of the fountain and that he was into that more than the h2o. While walking in the market he did what ever he could to reach out and touch any dog passing he could see. On the way there he undid his seat belt at least a half a dozen times. Screamed and spit on the other kids, he did that on the way home to! He also has a thing about chewing on the seat belt all the time.

11:00 we made a trip to the book store to get our weekly free book. He attempted to try and tear all the books on the shelves off. It is a book store there are a lot he could go for!When we kept a hand on him he screamed in protest to the event. ' Needless to say I picked out the book for him"

11:45 it was a fight to get him in the car and he was hot but did not want Ice water to drink so he pitch the water bottle at Athena head. On the way home he pooped his pants even after all the potty attempts

12:00 we had lunch at sonic and got him a grill cheese sandwich. he dived into it making a big mess in the car. Protested that he has cherry sprite and took everyone of the kids drinks away from them at one point to sneak a drink to only find out that he has the same thing the did. however he back washed and that drives us nuts.

12:45 we made it home however James did not want to lay down so that was a fight full blown. James stands under my chin now he is a big guy trying fighting him to lay down. it took a few minutes but he did lay down only to try as hard has he could to poop his pants again in protest

2:00 kept trying to go out side but because of the ants that we just spray for out side we said no. you see James loves to float bags all over the place you know the shopping bags you get at wal mart

3:00 he got back in the shower after we could not get him to settle down and was in the shower playing till 4;00 and the hot water ran out. then he had a snack. oh ya he got to the soap again and dumped more out

4:00 he got hold of paper and tore it up then threw it over the balcony like it was snow flakes so we had to vacuum the down stairs

4:30 he tore up the flowers on the table. Edward gave them to me last week so they where almost dead anyway. all this time the wind has picked up outside and he keeps trying to go outside with the bags

5:00 went got a baby doll and tried to give it a message with the back messager and then turn on cartoons.

6:22 we have just been trying to keep him inside he is tossing a marble down the hall on the tile to watch it bounce. we are making Dinner now and I am putting him to bed in less than an hour.

here is what I have to say! Anyone who says anything about my having hired help or that post judgement on me like I don't take care about caring for my kids because I have a nanny to raise my children. Can KISS MY GRITS. a child like James has to be cared for with detail, stray a little and he gets into stuff God has entrusted me and with him and these other children. just because I have the grace and wisdom to know that I need help in order to be a stress free mom who can give attention to children the way they need. Everychild should have the chance for one on one attention having paid help does not mean I have walked away from my post as the mother to my children. I have had people say things that they know nothing about. I would like to see anyone of them take on a child like this and see them make it. You see there is a saying God never gives you any more than you can handle. Most of you out there cant handle something like this that is why you will never have to face it. That goes for Family to who have very little to nothing to do with the situation. I have been dealing with this child going on 12 years. I love every part of it. I do get worn down it has been hard to deal with so many issues for one little person but, I have learn to ask for help. the best part of it is when James comes up to me at night and points to his cheek for a kiss goodnight. That makes me know that in the end of all this it is all going to be ok. I look forward to the day that I get to met my son James after this world when he is made perfect. I know that he is going to have so much to share with me and tell me. For now I will just watch him as he explores his world and enjoys the simple things most of us take for granit, like the wind.

Dress up with mommy!

So today for fun I pulled out my old wedding gown. I have had a goal to be able to wear it again by this next week. I am off a few buttons on the top! Not because I didn't try but because since I have had children the Lord blessed me with more. It has been a lot of work but, I am so glad I put the efforts into working out as hard as I have to loose the weight. I was 175 pounds when we move to Las Cruces two years ago I am now at 135. It has been worth all the efforts. Athena and Arwen of course where amazed at the dress so I allowed them to try it on. It is funny because I had this thought, wow! these pictures will be fun to add to the video when they really do get married. I am sure that before long I will look back on this moment and cry. For now however it was a great time to teach the girls and Austin about making good chooses and how I am so proud that I was married in a white gown and in the temple... I want more than anything for my children to Marry well into a family that loves them and accepts them for who they are. Edward is my sole mate all the way and our life together is amazing. We have done all that we have on our own and we are a team. protecting and rearing our family is the greatest thing we are doing on this earth. This moment with my Children today was worth all the wait to stand in front of them and tell them about that. I loved seeing the girls eyes glimmer with delight at the whole " My mommy is a Princes thing!" while trying the dress on it was a lot like playing dress up as a child. A moment now that I will Cherish always as an adult.

A long Thought! The Rest of the Story

There is a talk show raido host that most of us know name Paul Harvey. He has this famous line " And Now for the rest of the Story."So here is the rest of the story as most of you don't know about. Edward and I where set to adopt a baby girl in April. Aidens birth mom had come to us in Sept of last year telling us that she was having another baby and that she felt it was only right to place this baby up for adoption with her brother. Edward and I both felt that this would be an amazing gift to Aiden to have his full blooded little sister with the same hands or feet ect. We just felt like it was a gift to him so we accepted to adopt the baby. We spent the rest of the time getting ready to have this new baby girl in our home. We trusted that there was a high chance that sherry would be one way or right the other. meaning she would keep her or place her with ease. All of our children knew of the adoption it was something that we talked about openly because of the two natural children that still remain with Sherry. These children where offten in my home and I love them so much. All of our children where open and ready for this and so where we. On March 15th she waved and made the choose to keep the baby whom she named Emma. The little girl was born on April the 3rd. Sherry kept her for two months then made a choose to give her up much to everyone shock. Edward and I where on our trip to see my parents at Boys Town for a photo shoot with Boys town. I had been ask to do this story and shoot months ago for the national magazine they put out. During our trip Sherry " The Birth Mom" says she tried to reach us to give the baby to us. But things just fell apart on them. We had spent the nine months helping them out here and there and the church had given them more assistant than any of the members had. Sherry lived ten min from my door right here in Las Cruses but, made it to Iowa to do the adoption for a couple in Maryland. she says she tried to contact me via TeX and when I did not respond because I did not get them. they called an adoption agency while we where gone and placed the baby with a couple in Maryland in the state of Iowa. I talk to her on the phone right after she had sign the papers but at that point she claims it was to late to back out and how she wish she would have tried harder and that things could be different. Days later she got a new phone and started sending photos of the new Truck they had ect.... I will leave you all to know how they got the money for it. Did it hurt! Yes!! Does it still? Yes!! We have an area all set up for the baby that I still have not taken down. We had a name for her and even had picked out a blessing gown. I know that I cannot set around and think about the Should of,Would of, coulda game, It does me no Good at all. I still talk to her via tex she is suffering from her choose at this point but, she made her bed and will have to lay in it. however there is a since of loss with this whole thing that I was not expecting. I was ok emotionally With Sherry keeping the baby or with the baby being here with Aiden and our family. I was not prepared for this two months after the baby was born. Today I was able to see how much it has affected the kids. You see we had a Girl name Lauren who has work for me for going on over a year and a half. She had her first baby a month and a half ago. just a few weeks after Emma was born. I feel a special bond to Lauren and her baby Jenny because I was her Doula during Jenny's birth. It was amazing to be in the room with her and her husband Mike and see them become a family at that moment. " Can I just Say I love being a Doula!" Today Lauren and her Husband Mike went up to Gym Magic with me to drop off Cup cakes for Austins Birthday. This was the first time that the kids have seen the baby. The reactions all of them had was so sweet. I was able to see that they where feeling a since of that loss of an expected baby sister who is not here now. Athena talked about it with me before bed tonight. We talked about how God had a plan for Emma and that her plan needed to be with the family that has her now. Her and Arwen cried about it a little! It was hard to see this because as a mother you want to protect your children from these kind of things. But it is what it is! I was willing to accept this baby into my life but it was not Gods plan, I did that accepting with Faith that the Lord knew what was best. I am willing to accept what ever else Our Heavenly Father trows at me with that same Faith. I just hope that I am able to prepare my sweet Aiden when he has to face is past head on. I ask God to give me the wisdom to know how to. It is a lot to think about. But I would change nothing about taking my sweet Aiden getting to know his sister Mya and Jesse a little more while they where here and being able to let him know I tried brings me peace Aiden he is my son now was in heaven and will forever be.... I love being his MOMMY. I love having a big family. People miss out that don't. There is so much love with us and in our home And from these pictures my children loving being big brothers and sisters.